I really don't think I'm good enough for you
by nozomi97
Summary: Both Kise and Kuroko feel unsure about their relationship. Maybe because something that haunts them in the past.. (P.S : This is my first fanfic, guys. Sorry for the bad grammar. Please RnR if you don't mind m( )m )


**_P.S : Kuroko no Basuke belongs to Tadatoshi Fujimaki-sama only. I do not own anything _(~ )~_  
_****_Btw, this is my first time writing a fanfic, guys. Even though my grammar's really bad, I hope you'll get what i mean *sniff*_**

* * *

**I really don't think I'm good enough for you**

It's already past 9. Kuroko has just finished making his lover's favorite food since he knew that Kise will be home late tonight.  
However, just when he tried to clean the appliances, someone's rang the doorbell. He thought it was Kise_-kun_. But it appears to be someone he knows.  
Bring a real 'shocking news'…

* * *

"_Tadaima.._, Kuroko_cchi_…", said a young blonde man come home tottering.

"Kise-kun. _Okaeri_. I've been waiting for you.", Kuroko replied. "C'mere for a sec. I just made your favorite soup."

He pulls Kise to the dining table which he has already prepared.

"_A-re.?_ Onion gratin soup!? Kuroko_cchi_! I'm so glad I have you!", he hugged Kuroko tightly without hesitation.  
But Kuroko pushed Kise abruptly, tell him to just eat already. And went to his own bedroom.

How unusual. This is strange. They're used to being lovey-dovey everyday. Whenever Kise give him a hug like that, Kuroko always replies with a gentle pat on his lover's head. But why is today Kuroko seems aloof?

Kise looks troubled._ "Something must be up"_, or so he thought.  
He left his favorite food behind and went to look for his lover instead.  
He opened Kuroko's bedroom door. The lights off. What can be seen, is only a ray of light being reflected from the small windows and not to forget, the light when Kise's opened the door.

Kuroko appears to be in the bed. Covered himself with a pretty thick blanket.  
Kise approached him slowly. Sits in the corner of bed, right besides Kuroko.

Not wanting his guy to get scared and feel at ease with him.. He only strokes Kuroko's head without saying anything for a few minutes.

"Have you calmed down?", asked Kise.  
"Nee.. Kuroko_cchi_… Remember, when you promised to tell me everything? So.. Why don't you do that now? Hmm?"

"Kise_-kun_..".

He stares at the man.  
Breathe slowly, open his mouth and tell Kise everything..

* * *

"_Maji-ssu ka_!? That's great, isn't it? So, why are you upset then?"

"W-well you see.. I guess I just can't leave Kagami_-kun_ alone. Especially when he just regained consciousness after this past 2 years.."

"I see.."  
"He's the one you truly love, after all. It's okay, you don't have to force yourself."

Enforcing his smile. Kise's trying so hard to held back his tears. Trying really hard to stay cool.  
Despite how damn broken he feels right now.

* * *

To put it simply. Kuroko is Kagami's lover in the first place.  
However, one day when they were dating. An accident occurred. A building which has been constructed suddenly explodes.  
Kagami and Kuroko were right under that constructions building. Materials fell off, running towards Kagami. Kuroko realized that sooner. But, he was too late. When he was about to pushed his lover; Kagami was already covered in blood. His left head issued a fresh blood and lost consciousness right after.  
The accident occurred in which way Kise about to cross when he was about to go home from his past lover's funeral. Seeing them, Kise quickly tell everybody to help. The ambulance was called, and soon Kagami got an intensive care.

Doctor said, his chance of regained consciousness is low, only about 37%. This is because of the damages of tissues brain.  
Now, all they can do is only pray for a miracle.

"_I should be the one who get hurt! Why can't I realized it a little sooner. Why? Why!? If only.. If only I weren't too late! Kagami-kun.. Kagami-kun.!"_

Kuroko haven't stop crying since that day. It feels like he become a complete different person. Melancholic that is.  
Crying over and over because he couldn't save Kagami. Blaming himself and said that it should be him who supposed to be in Kagami's state.  
It's been 3 days straight and Kuroko still haven't eat, sleep, or anything. All he could do is pray and hoping his lover will wake up soon.

Till one time. Kise couldn't stand it anymore..

"Kuroko_cchi!_ _Yamete!_ _Ore mo ssu yo.._ I also feel sad. I also hope that Kagami-kun will wake up soon and being together with everyone again. Look, Momo_cchi_, Midorima_cchi_, Akashi_cchi_, Murasaki_cchi_ and everyone.. They're all worried about you. You should at least take care of yourself. Nothing will changed if you only cried. I don't want you to be as depressed as I am when I just lost Aomine_cchi!_ I really don't want you to-"

Suddenly, the memories he had with his bestfriend and also his past lover overwhelming.  
Bring a sorrow that cause tears to fell down upon the blonde's cheek.

"_Ara..._ What is this? Ahaha. I thought I already forget Aomine_cchi.._ Ahaha.. _Dame-ssu yo, ore.._ Ahaha…"

No matter how many times he tried to forget, the memories just came back without noticing. He keeps remembering those hard day when he sees how Aomine struggles to live. Struggles in order to not let Kise be alone. To make the model guy smiled cheerfully as ever again.  
Nonetheless, fate didn't let it. Kise lost him in the end. Because of the rare disease that cannot be cured.

"K-Kise-kun.."

"…"

"I'm so sorry for making you remember Aomine_-kun_. _Ano…_ Let's eat together."

Feels guilty for making Kise remember the deceased Aomine, Kuroko stopped crying and begin to accept what has happened.

A month. 6 months. A year passes by. Kagami still hasn't shown much progress…

Right now; Kise and Kuroko live together in a pretty enormous apartment that Kise's bought. With the money he gets by working as a model.  
Despite living together this past years.. They still haven't figured out how the other party really feels. Still unsure, whether they're still dwelling in the 'past' or not.

* * *

"Erm… _Nee, _Kuroko_cchi_..", say Kise gently. Bring Kuroko's out of his thought.

"_Ah.._ What is it, Kise_-kun_?"

"Wanna break up?"

"W-What? I-I didn't mean to.. I-I mean.. I love you, and it's not like I still love Kagami_-kun_.."

"Well you see. I just thought that we're in such a relationship because we've ever felt the same sorrow. I lost Aomine_cchi_ and for you, Kagami_cchi_ just won't wake up. Maybe we're just confused that's why.."

"Maybe we are. But I do really love you. I don't want to be apart from you. I-I seriously in love with you!"

Seeing Kuroko trembles and burst in tears make Kise realized something. Something that make him totally aware of his feeling.  
The urge to embrace, kiss, repaint this small body. And tell him how much he don't want this little guy to go away.

"_You are the only one I've left, Kuroko."_

Kagami's voice just pop out from Kise's memory. Suddenly, he came to the realization that he can't do what he wants. He doesn't want Kagami's feeling to be hurt anymore. Aomine's death has been really tough, not only for Kise. But for Kagami as well.

"Let's visit him the next morning. It's already 12, let's sleep for now."

"…." Kuroko nods his head without saying a word. Putting Kise restless.

"_Ano ne,_ Kuroko_cchi_. Just forget what I said about breaking up."

Kise goes back to his room. Didn't wait for Kuroko's replies. Maintaining his feeling so hard, so he don't break.  
While Kuroko sleep with swollen eyes and tears still in his eyelids.

* * *

Both Kise and Kuroko go to the hospital where Kagami's being treated. Soon afterward, they arrived in the door of room 208.  
Today the room's so noisy and hectic, full with laughter. Unlike the other day.

When Kise and Kuroko open the door, the 3 Generation of Miracles already in there, including Momoi, their former manager and also Riko.  
Kagami looks very healthy; miraculously after a year or so in the state of comma.  
He sits comfortably in the bed, give them both a warm big smile.

"Yo, Kuroko, Kise."

"K-Kagami_-kun…_"

Kuroko couldn't held back his tears, running towards Kagami without considering the others.  
And hug the red-haired guy so dearly.

"Kagami_-kun._ Kagami_-kun._ Kagami_-kun!_"

"_Hoi, hoi,_ Kuroko. _Chotto matta._ I'm still in treatment you know? Hahaha"

Kagami's warm and big smiled really make Kuroko feels nostalgic. Just how long he want to embrace this guy again. Oh really. A year and a half definitely worth a wait.

"This feels so touching..", said Momoi while wiping her eyes.

"C'mon, let's give them sometime.", said Midorima firmly.

"Kise_-kun_ don't come with us. Stay here! You hear me?", ordered Riko.

"_E-ehh!?_ _Nande?_"

" 'Why', you asked? You should explained just how dare you are to end up with his lover, of course! Such a cheater!", said Riko fiercely.

With that, everyone go to the canteen. Leaving only the 3 of them in the room. Kise, Kagami, Kuroko.  
Kise feels so awkward, he feel as if he only bothering the two's rendezvous after such a long time.  
Kuroko is still clinging to Kagami's arm anyway. So, in his thought, Kuroko is 'still' in love with Kagami.  
However; he couldn't back off now. Last night, he promised himself to admit his fault no matter what may come.  
Convincing himself to tell Kagami the truth. The truth about his relationship with Kuroko right now.

"Kagami_cchi…_ I'm really so-"

When he's about to bowing his head, Kagami interrupted.

"You don't have to. I already know that you're going out with Kuroko. Everyone told me already. It's okay. You don't have to be worry about it. I'm glad you can find a good man. _Naa,_ Kuroko."

Both Kise and Kuroko look as if being spelled by some kind of magic. They couldn't say anything. Wondering about how can Kagami act like this when he's the one being betrayed here.

Kagami strokes Kuroko's head. And begin to explain something that's bothering his mind.

"Well. You know. To tell you the truth. I want to die so badly that day. I already know when the concrete about to fell. But I let it fell intentionally."

"B-but why.. I thought you didn't realize its coming…", said Kuroko that seems really shocked.

"I'm sorry Kuroko and also you, Kise. I really am sorry for lying to both of you.. Ever since the day we lost Aomine. I feel like a dead fish. I lost the will to live. I really lost the hope to be alive. I know I already have Kuroko by my side. I can deceive my brain, but not my heart. I intentionally use Kuroko for my own sake. And then, back when we were dating and the accident occurred. I just realized how I really love Aomine from the very start. Even though he only sees you, Kise…"

"…" Kise's sighing, saying what's on his mind.  
"I already know you love Aomine. I know by the way you act. But I never expect you to still love him till today.."

"Kagami_-kun._ Kise-_kun.._". Kuroko stared at both Kagami and Kise. Confused.

Kagami feels like he is the main problem here. When Kuroko starting to move on with Kise, he regained consciousness.  
He makes both Kise and Kuroko feel unsure about their relationship. But look, the one who's still dwelling in the past is no one but him.

"_Haah…_ I should just die that day..", wished Kagami while look up to the ceiling.

"Y-You..!"

Kagami's word suddenly stirs Kise's anger.

"Kise_-kun!_"

Kuroko stopped Kise when he's about to punch the sick-guy's face.

"_Nah.._ It's okay Kuroko. You don't have to held back. You can also hit me as much as you wish. I'm the bad one after all."

"You know, Kagami.."

This is the first time Kuroko heard Kise calling someone without the suffix. Kise looks really agitated like never before.

"It's not like I'm angry because you're such a jerk. It's because you don't appreciate life that's been given to you once again! Don't you know how much Aomine cares for you!? He keeps asking me about how Kagami will live on if someday he died. I told him that you'll be just fine. And then he only smiled.  
Y'know.. I even felt jealous even though you're his stepbrother."

"D-did he really say that?". Kagami's eyes begin to flowing tears. "A-Aomine… I-I'm..."

Kagami's crying to his heart's content, can't forgive just how much he break too many people's heart because of his unstable heart.

After such a heavy flood that was just swollen his eyes; Kagami feels so relieved. But, soon after he stopped crying, he found himself being glared at the door's window by the friends who just came back from eating in the canteen.

"_Ano._ Kagami_-kun._ I know how you feel. But, look at how lame you were when crying.", Kuroko whispered and quickly give the man a mirror and tissue.

"W-what.. Oh man!"

Kagami's blushing. Accompanied by Kise, Kuroko, Riko, Momoi, and the 3 Generations of Miracles laughter.

"You haven't changed at all, huh?"

"What are you doing, Kise? Making this stone-head crying like a baby. Wahaha", teased Riko.

"I-I only tell him the truth _-ssu yo.._ Ahaha", answered Kise who still couldn't stop laughing whereas he's the one who make the guy cried.

The room filled with laughter. They begin to tell their story one by one where Kagami's not present.  
Time sure flies. It's already 6 at noon. Almost 7 hours in there!  
Well, they've been given the permission to enter the room past the visiting hours, it's all thanks to Midorima. He owns the hospital.  
It was already dark outside. Therefore, they ask for leave and promise to come back again tomorrow.  
Just when, they're about to leave Kagami's room..

"_Ano.._ Kagami_-kun._ There's something I want to tell you properly.", said Kuroko suddenly.  
He bow his head, and say something that really touched everyone.  
Discourage them to go home.

"First. I'm sorry for not noticing how you love Aomine_-kun _and make you love me forcefully._  
_Second. I'm sorry for letting you get hurt that time. I promised I won't let it happened to you again.  
And third… Please do not forgive me for going out with Kise_-kun_, even though you're still my boyfriend."

"_Oi, oi._ Kuroko. You don't have to do thi-"

"_Kuroko_cchi.._" _Seeing Kuroko this eager makes Kise bow his head towards Kagami as well.

"I should be the one who apologized. Even though you don't love him, I'm still the one to blame. I'm the one who snatch your current boyfriend after all. You shouldn't forgive me."

"_Tsk.._ Okay, then. Kuroko! Let's break up. I don't love you, and you don't love me. So, what's the point of being together?  
Go and find your happiness with that blonde jerk!"

"You look like you're going to marry and ask for father's permission.", said Akashi.

"W-wha..", said Kise, Kagami, and Kuroko simultaneously.

"_Hai.. Hai,_ let's go home, guys. The marriage proposal or _whatever-it-is_ ends now.. _haup_", told Murasaki munching his cookies.

"G'bye, Kagami. Let's meet again tomorrow."

And so.. With that, the case closed with everyone's heart feel at ease.

* * *

"Oh man! I can't believe THAT Kagami_cchi_ called me 'blonde jerk'. He's the one who love Aomine_cchi_ and make me jealous in the first place!  
What a jerk for calling me a jerk."

Kise's been grumbling from the hospital to their apartment most likely.  
Making Kuroko feel jealous is definitely not a good choice.

"_Hee.. Sou desu ka._ So you still love Aomine_-kun_, huh, Kise_-kun yo?_"

"_E-ehhh..!?_ I-It's not like that! _Huwaaa,_ Kuroko_cchiiiiii,_ don't get angry with me! I really can't stand it. Kuroko_cc-_"

Kuroko sealed the man's lips. Gives Kise an unexpected passionate kiss.

"Serves you right, you jerk. _Bwee.._"

~Owari~

* * *

**P.S (again!?) : T****hanks for reading, guys. **I'm sorry if the story is sucks. Please be kind to review and help me improve myself m(_ _)m _-nozomi_  



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